Thursday, May 31, 2007

The Power of the Dog

“The Power of the Dog”

Rudyard Kipling


THERE is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie—
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find—it’s your own affair—
But . . . you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!).
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone—wherever it goes—for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.

We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we’ve kept ’em, the more do we grieve.
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long—
So why in—Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Trapped Under Ice

Metallica - Ride the lightning

Trapped Under Ice

I don't know how to live trough this hell
Woken up, I'm still locked in this shell
Frozen soul, frozen down to the core
Break the ice, I can't take anymore

Freezing
Can't move at all
Screaming
Can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out
I'm trapped under the ice

Crystallized, as I lay here and rest
Eyes of glass stare directly at death
From deep sleep I have broken away
No one knows, no one hears what I say

Freezing
Can't move at all
Screaming
Can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out
I'm trapped under the ice

Scream from my soul
Fate, mystified
Hell, forever more
No release from my cryonic state
What is this? I've been stricken by fate
Wrapped up tight, cannot move, can't break free
Hand of doom has a tight grip on me

Freezing
Can't move at all
Screaming
Can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out
I'm trapped under the ice

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Butterflies Dance

Through words in poetry, letters and small pieces of wisdom left astray by others, I am often intrigued and impressed by the thoughts that inspired and gave birth to the words written.


Butterflies come to the water
from mountains, valleys, hills and plains
Why is it they come to kiss the salt of the ocean?

~ by Michael J Smith ~

Forgotten Hurts

I never really knew my mother when I was growing up. I remember her being there, but not as a parenting figure.. more as someone who simply filled the bedroom down the hallway from where my younger sister and I slept.
My Grandparents ( my mum's parents ) for all purposes and intent were more of my mum and dad to both myself and sister.. strange how time lets us see things a little more clearly, while other memories are faded. I find myself trying to fit ill formed puzzle pieces together so that the picture I have is complete - but the air is foggy and time has warped whatever dillusions and ideals I had about my childhood.
Certainly it wasn't an unhappy time in my life, but then again it wasn't as smooth as the outside world was allowed to believe. I have generally compared my family upbringing to a double sided mirror.
There was the calm, collected, happy family that every one else saw and then there were the arguments..the long silent nights waiting for mum to come back to the main house from one of her many outtings to the pubs. Where she would entertain herself with alcohol, illicit drugs and more often than not, drugs. I wish I could say I've forgiven her for all those years without her in our lives - that I can accept the hollow shell of a person she presented to myself and my little sister as this caring, loving, parent. But I can't, I would not only be lying to my own memories, but to the reality of what carved me into the parent, friend and sister I am now.

Still, in having said all the above when she ( my Mother ) appeared out of the blue at my house on Saturday afternoon, while it was surely awkward and uneasy.. it's also good to know she has finally met AND acknowledged her suriving grandchildren. I don't want anything from her - but then even if I did, I don't know if I'd be foolish enough to think she would actually fulfill those parts of our relationship that have been missing for so many years